“There are 365 times in the Bible where it says to not fear, once for each day of the year,” so they say. Do we realize that this is not merely a phrase meant to make us feel better? Do we understand that “Fear not.” is a command?
This new life of motherhood changes the dimensions of our existence, particularly our weaknesses. As mothers, new fears assail us, stronger than we could have imagined before. Struggles we were unaware of now fill our minds. Then the fears work us over.
“Fear not” is a strict command, especially for those of us in charge of other souls, because fear is a strong weapon that effectively prevents us from accomplishing The Master’s will.
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, because fear holds punishment, and he who fears has not been made perfect in love.”
Yoḥanan Aleph (1 John) 4:18
The fears of motherhood are few, yet strong in the beginning. Then fear breeds upon fear in the false guise of love. Eventually, we find that we are constantly yelling at loved ones, and lashing out over little things. The unloving behavior towards our families is not rooted in hate. We may be frustrated, but hate? No, the root is fear. Once we identify the fear the Enemy is using against us, the tide of the battle has turned. From there we can fight with the Word, prayer, love, taking captive every thought.
When you find yourself enraged, ask, “What am I afraid of?”
- Being a bad mom?
- Not being enough?
- Going unnoticed?
- Doing the wrong thing that propels your children into self-destruction?
- Angering your community with your parenting choices?
- Inability to get on the same page with your husband about your concerns?
- Judgement from your family?
- No one caring about your efforts?
- Disaster taking your children from you?
- Alienating your kids from you, yourself?
- Causing unnecessary grief to your family?
- Cursing them with your mistakes or evil past?
- Burning up your life for nothing?
- Exposing your children to family battle crossfire?
- That if things don’t go your way, they can never come out right?
- Never getting anything perfect?
We mothers do have a responsibility for our children’s safety. Go set the boundaries. Teach the rules. Encourage good connections. Discourage bad company. Take precautions around that person who gives you a bad gut feeling. Become the repetitive voice of good sense that your kids will hear wherever they go.
Beyond the practical action, though, our concerns turn into fear and have no benefit for our families nor ourselves. Ruminating on fears winds us up tightly, makes us irritable (fruit of the Spirit is patience) and causes us to make stupid decisions. Our words cut. Our tempers flare. Our impulses inflict chaos. Our families hide.
The above bullet points of fears may seem to come from a place of love, but they don’t. It is a distrust of the One Who is Love. The King of the Universe came up with the idea of our children. He created them and knows their every detail, down to each hair on their heads. Jehovah loves them, more than even a mother. He gave up his only perfect child to secure our babies’ eternal lives. Our children may get hurt, we may fail them, they may choose their destruction, or tragedy may take them from us; but The One Who created all things is doing everything, even delaying the Kingdom of Heaven, to ensure that these precious children will have every opportunity to choose an eternity of His goodness. We must assist Him and drop the fears that have held us back from being the mothers God intended us to be.
Seek Him out, and let YHWH flood you with His love. Keep your eyes on the eternal. Let yourself love God first, and He will guide your every step in His grace.
This post is one of a series titled, “Dear Mama.”